The Red Cross First Aid App: A Great Resource

| Jeff McKillop |

November is CPR awareness month.  A little bit of training and preparedness can go a long way and potentially save lives.

Red Cross CPR and First Aid courses are available everywhere.  The cost is reasonable and the instructors are fabulous.  It’s true you lose one day (or two) of your weekend to complete your training but it is time well invested.

The Canadian Red Cross has also made a great app available to download onto your mobile devices.  It is comprehensive, provides a careful overview of how to help in most emergency situations, and it is free.
CRC First Aid

The Healthy Relationship: 7. I’ll Take Care of You Because You Cannot Figure Things Out for Yourself

| Karen Scarth |

In the last post of this series, we reviewed the relationship rule: “You have to be completely open and honest, and tell me everything. I need to know what you are thinking and feeling at all times.” This rule may create a profound sense of intrusion and emotional control and those who are asked to abide by this rule may feel that they are not entitled to any privacy of thought or emotion.

The next relationship rule we will focus on is:

  • I’ll take care of you. You are fragile/incapable and can’t be expected to figure things out for yourself.

In healthy development, parents assess when their children are ready to take steps towards independence and autonomy. This decision ideally incorporates information about the child’s abilities and readiness as well as the level of risk within a specific situation. The decision can be influenced by the parent’s own fears, knowledge, and emotional needs. If the parent is too cautious and prevents autonomy when the child is ready and able to act with some independence, this can send the message that the parent lacks confidence in the child’s capacities. An unintended consequence is that a child may begin to avoid novel activities or enters them with fear.

For example, this may arise when a child wishes to choose their own clothes for school, ride a bike in their neighbourhood, do a grown up task like baking or yard work, or play with kids outside the family and a parent resists these pushes for independence for too long. A common and familiar pattern in many households occurs when a parent may manage a child’s homework or do projects for a child because that parent fears their child would fail or do poorly otherwise.

Parents who continue to fix, rescue, and solve their child’s problems beyond the time when this is developmentally appropriate may do so for a number of reasons.  It may serve a parent’s emotional desire to be needed and have a sense of purpose. It can provide some distraction from an unhappy marriage or other areas of personal dissatisfaction. In many instances parents do not want to see their children suffer and will do whatever it takes to prevent this.

Fixing problems may also protect a fearful parent from worry. By taking care of the problem a parent can regain their own sense of ease. Unfortunately however the child may then fail to develop the skills and confidence to fix their own problems and instead develop a sense of dependence on others.

This relationship dynamic may follow children into their adult, intimate relationships such that they come to expect to be taken care of or do not see themselves as responsible agents of change in their own lives. This can lead to some dysfunctional relationship patterns in which the now adult child remains passive and unable to make decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions. They may develop patterns in which they fail to be personally responsible and instead blame others for their various dissatisfactions.

hand in hand

Disabilities in Canada

| Jeff McKillop |

Statistics Canada recently released new information about disabilities in Canada. The information comes from the 2012 Canadian Survey on Disability (CSD).  Disability, in this survey, was defined as anyone why reported limits in their daily activities due to a long-term condition or health problem.

The survey found that:

  • Approximately 14 percent (3.8 million) of the adult Canadian population report a limitation in daily activity due to a disability.
  • Among the total Canadian population, the most prevalent disabilities were pain, flexibility, and mobility impairments followed by psychological disability.
  • Among younger adults (aged 15 to 24), the most prevalent disability was psychological disability.
  • With age, the prevalence of disability increases.
  • Women have a higher prevalence of disability than men, independent of age.
  • Over 81 percent of people with disabilities report using some form of assistive aid or device.

For more information, visit Statistics Canada.
Disability in Canada